Out With A Bang

“Decided that if I was gonna die anyway I might as well fuck a prostitute before it was all over. After that a cab driver offered to sell me cocaine. One thing lead to another, and I got a room above a whore house equipped with a heart shaped bed, a stripper pole, and a hot tub.”

Guy Goes To Mexico To Kill Himself, Spends Week Doing Coke And Banging Hookers, Decides To Keep Living

Church of Gail Attacked by Giant Sentient Taco and Burrito

RELATED – Jesuit malware causes serious problems with the penises of Gail’s men (Matthew McConaughey, Brent Spiner, and Vladimir Putin) and then they got their penises stolen by Chinese doctors who wanted larger penises.  Or something.

Also the malware caused her sister to grow a penis and rape a couple of women.

Innovation Meets TexMex

Last night I had an idea for a restaurant while waiting for my friend to finish cooking me steak on hot coals during a rainstorm. The swine flu* is coming in from Mexico (again) and before that we couldn’t eat green onions** or tomatos*** or jalapeno peppers*** (plus other fresh and dried chilies***) or cantaloupe*** or peanuts*** or pistachios*** or potatoes**** or spinach*****. What do these all have in common? All of these foods came from food plants or farms with Mexican workers located in Mexico and Southern California.

Why not start a food chain which promotes that no foods come from Mexico or other Latin American countries******? This would make the food a bit more costly but the novelty would surely create a cult following. That is, until the immigrant workers burn the place down.

I haven’t thought of a name but I did come up with a slogan: “We Remove The Panic – From Hispanic” or more specifically, “We Take Out The Panic – From Hispanic Foods.” Of course, this would only work if the primary menu items were south of the border (styled) entrees.

* A good article on the topic.
** Hepitatis A
*** Salmonella
**** Actually these came from Canada, but they didn’t make anyone sick which just proves my point further.
***** E.Coli
****** I guess that would have to include California