Celebrity Deathwatch 2016 #0025-0028

Edgar Mitchell, 85, Apollo 14 Astronaut, walked on the moon.

Fucks given: 20, srsly the dude walked on the fucking moon.

Alethea McGrath, 96, played the librarian at the Jedi library in Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones

Fucks given: none whatsoever.

Antonin Scalia, 79, Supreme Court Justice.

Fucks given: $10 says the next judge doesn’t understand what the words “shall not be infringed” means.

Vanity, 57, singer for Vanity 6 and actress in Action Jackson and The Last Dragon,who almost married Nikki Sixx but then went full-on Jesus after ODing on crack.

Fucks given: .05.

Celebrity Deathwatch 2015 #0218-0225

Douglas Thompkins, 72, co-founder of The North Face and Esprit, died of hypothermia following a kayaking accident in Chile.

Fucks given: 0, but cool way to go.

Brooke McCarter, 52, was apparently one of the vampires in The Lost Boys.

Fucks given: 0.

Ian “Lemmy” Kilmister, 70, former member of Hawkwind and founder/frontman of Motörhead.

Fucks given: ALL THE GODDAMN FUCKS THERE ARE DAMN IT ALL TO FUCK.

Meadowlark Lemon, 83, basketball player for the Harlem Globetrotters.

Fucks given: 1.

Vonette Bright, 89, co-founder of Campus Crusade for Christ.

Fucks given: <0, I fucking hate youth pastors.  Back in college I used to get bothered all the fucking time by fuckers wanting to tell me about Jesus while I was minding my own business trying to have lunch or study.

William Guest, 74, Pip.

Fucks given: 0.

Ian Murdock, 42, creator of the Debian Linux distribution.

Fucks given: 1.  Interesting note, apparently there was weird shit going down on his Twitter account right before he died.

Sean Whitesell, 52, television actor, writer, and producer.

Fucks given: 3, I really liked his character on Oz.

Jesus Christ, Bartender

A former bartender at House Speaker John Boehner ’s country club was arrested last month after telling police he considered poisoning the Ohio Republican’s drink and had planned to shoot him, authorities said.

Michael Hoyt is being held and will undergo a court-ordered psychiatric evaluation after telling a police officer and federal agents that he was Jesus Christ and that Mr. Boehner was the devil and responsible for the Ebola virus