“This year, I wanted to step it up a little bit,” he said. In Sausage-speak, “stepping it up” means bringing in Jenny Jizz, the self-proclaimed “wife of the cum artist” to let our former men in uniform ejaculate on her face.
I made a decision today. I have reached the tipping point with my job. The commute is too long, parts of it are too stressful, and my boss’s managerial style is too annoying. I shall therefore seek and obtain new employment in the not-too-distant future.
I am considering, in an ironic twist, using the $500 gift card received from work as a holiday present to purchase a decent suit for use in interviews. The only thing holding me back from this is that I wish to lose 20 pounds of fat and gain a few pounds of muscle, and do not wish to get the suit re-fitted after purchase. Instead I may simply get one of my existing blazers tailored so that it actually fits properly.
This weekend I’m preparing for Defcon by (1) reviewing the talks and figuring out which ones I plan to attend; and, more importantly, (2) preparing an alcohol strategy.
I’m considering taking along a bottle of absinthe and a case or two of beer, then mixing absinthe with water in a water bottle and relying on that for the first part of the evening, switching to beer once that runs out. This is either the best or the worst idea I’ve had in a while.