Coffee and Dildos

A few days ago at the local chain coffee shop one of the female employees decided to start talking about the huge dildo she had acquired the previous night.  Apparently it is bigger than any cock she has ever handled.

FWIW, this is not the sort of thing that should be discussed loudly at work in front of customers, so she is no longer an employee there.  Now for the next couple of weeks whenever I go to the coffee shop I’ll be trying to figure out who is missing.

In related coffee news, I recently had the opportunity to visit a popular chain of donut bakeries which is for some reason known for serving good coffee.  I do not understand why they are known for this, since their coffee is shit.

My Outdoor Office has been Compromised

As I may have mentioned, I usually work from home, typically on the front porch.

As I may also have mentioned, we have this lesbian couple living next door to us.  They adopted a baby a while back, and for some reason now have a 30ish autistic woman living with them as well*.  Typically in the morning I would see her walking back and forth, either reading or talking on the phone or talking to herself or something while she hacked up phlegm.

Over the weekend we threw a party by the pool and invited them, since their adopted child is about the same age as my youngest spawn.  As a result of this I was trapped into a brief conversation with the autist.

Unfortunately, now that she knows my name, she feels free to talk to me when she sees me on the porch, since “we know each other”.

* They used to be fostering a 9ish girl, but apparently she was replaced.

Dress up this rotten carcass just to make it look alive

My IT department has done a forced merger of Network Engineering and Telecom. Anyone with details on what is going on isn’t talking, and we’ve all been shuffled with rearranged cubicle walls to sit together. I am fairly ambivalent overall, except on the lack of transparency. I suspect we will have less managers in the near future and some required cross training. The latter will likely come up with some layoffs after said cross-training.

I’ve been submitting resumes out for two weeks and in doing so, I’ve realized I don’t really want to do this anymore. This information has changed my efforts to asking for a higher expected salary. I didn’t think this would go anywhere but I’ve had a few interviews.

I work with a Cisco autist*. What I mean is he identifies as a Cisco man and nothing gives him greater delight than preaching Cisco’s glory. It’s like a religion, a social club, and the culture where he has found acceptance. It’s a disturbing fan-boy fanaticism that is really annoying on an overly happy engineer in his sixties.

Several years ago he was removed from the NetEng Cisco team to work on the Avaya phone stuff for our call centers in various countries. He is beside himself to be back with the identity of being on the group that works on Cisco…only this is the group that wanted to fire him and he the company with mercy put him on phones. The guy is incredibly nice so I say this with some guilt, but I look forward to never seeing him again.

* I suspect he really is.


The hard drive on my work laptop started having serious issues in late January. As a result, I have been unable to open outlook because some outlook file is corrupted. I put in an order for a new laptop immediately and have been limping along using webmail. I finally received the new laptop yesterday. Got my files moved over to it today. Discovered that IT didn’t install SecureCRT (which I actually need to do my job). Put in a request to get SecureCRT installed (which I can’t do myself because I don’t have admin rights). Received an email saying it will take 10 business days. Meanwhile I’ve got to limp along using Putty, which is a complete piece of shit.

Speaking of waiting, here’s a guy who put on 13 metal cockrings and couldn’t get them off and waited 4 days before calling the fire department (?) and getting them cut off with an angle grinder (!!).

Friday Night Video CLXIV

I’m happy with my job, I guess.  Not unhappy, at least.

A couple weeks ago the former VP of Sales at a former employer got in touch with me, saying one of his customers needed a guy with my particular set of skills.  I spoke to their recruiter today.

Interesting advantages of this company: they’re generally speaking in the “health” industry, so there’s an on-site gym and on-site personal trainer and yoga instructor a couple times a week, plus free fruit and healthy snacks in the lunchroom.

Disadvantages: They’re not really into telecommuting, so I’d have to start putting on pants and going into the office five days a week again.

My plan is to ask for entirely too much money and see what happens.  My fear is that they’re going to offer something in between my current salary and what I ask for, so I need to figure out the exact yes/no cash money line.